Yuuri, Victor the Witch and the 7 Dwarfs
by K.Haruyuki
Summary: Snow White AU where only the 7 dwarfs, a witch, and an someone old with enchanted apples is equal. The rest? nothing but pure madness of the author, who regrets nothing.


**Inspired by a pnterest art.**

**I have a Beta now! Thank you very much Amazingmoox! You are really a big help for me.**

**I have a twitter. Check eiennosekai for news about me and spoilers for my fics and arts. I also post there polls for extra entry and small snipets for the newest chapters.**

**~x~**

_nce Upon a time..._

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, is there anyone more beautiful than me?" Victor The Witch asks his trusty wall mirror, which gives no reaction.

The witch blinks twice before widening his eyes and slapping his forehead.

"God, I forgot to turn it on!" Then, taking a long remote control from the long black cloak, he turns on the mirror, advances some channels until he reaches one whose man in black clothes and purple makeup comes with his arms closed. "Aha!"

The man opens his eyes and looks at the witch seriously.

"Again?" He asks, and the witch nods excitedly, which makes him let out a long breath. "Fine."

Victor The Witch clears his throat, straightens his clothes and takes a deep breath.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, is there anyone more beautiful than me?" He asks his faithful wall mirror, which this time outlines the same reaction as ever.

"Yes, my master." The mirror says, scratching inside his nose showing how bored he is.

"Yeah ! I knew there's someone more beautiful than me in this realm." The witch exclaims excitedly as the mirror looks up at him with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, 'Really?', Something that is ignored by him.

"So, my master? How do you want to find this person?" The mirror, which by the way is Georgi, looks at his nails, checking to see if he needs a manicure.

"Simple, my dear mirror!" Victor exclaims, his eyes sparkling and a heart-shaped smile. "Just give a party to the nobles of this kingdom!"

"Oh? Okay then." The mirror says, replacing her purple lipstick. "If you want to offer good food, I suggest you hire the Katsukis from Yu-Topia Inn. Their Katsudon is Di-vi-ne."

"Katsudon?" The witch asks, looking at the mirror with surprise, but the mirror has already put up a sign saying 'Snooze Break' there, making the witch pout.

**~ x ~**

Yuuri Katsuki is an average slightly overweight boy who helps out at his family inn and gives ice skating lessons to children. One night he returns home after a long day of school, and realizes that sitting at one of the tables is the Malevolent Witch. Yuuri points to him and silently asks his family what the hell a being as terrible as he is doing in the humble inn.

"He wants to eat Katsudon."

Hiroko, Toshiya, Mari and Yuuri look at each other for a minute before shrugging their shoulders and going back to their previous tasks. Soon, the Katsudon is ready and of course they left it for Yuuri to have to serve him for that evil being.

"Here is your order." Yuuri says, kneeling down and pouring him a large bowl of Katsudon and setting aside sauces and a pair of chopsticks.

"Thank you very much!" The Witch says, smiling broadly at him.

Yuuri gets scared, not expecting that kind of reaction from him. Shyly, he watches him take a piece of pork and put it in his mouth.

"VKUSNO !" He exclaims, eating quickly as he speaks. "My goodness, that's very good! What a delight! This is what gods eat?! So jealous! I never thought such food was served in this realm! That bastard mirror, why has he never told me before? Coff Coff!

"Are you alright?" Yuuri asks, patting his back lightly and terrified that he's choking. "Eat slower and let talk later."

"OK!" The Witch who should be evil says, smiling a heart-shaped smile.

_Oh. This is bad, very bad._

**...**

And it gets worse, because The Malevolent Witch not only warns that he will throw a party in his own castle. He wants the Katsukis to prepare various Katsudon dishes for the guests. Yuuri thinks his family will refuse his request, but feels a severe headache coming to see the bright eyes of the three because of the money they will get.

**...**

Mysteriously, the party is quite popular _**(maybe because the people involved are afraid to oppose the will of the witch. Who really knows?)**_All is well until Yuuri falls further by the witch and to disguise, has just accidentally drinking a full glass of Champagne He found it tasty and drank some more glasses and with that ended up getting drunk ( _**Danced with several guests, undressed to perform improvised Pole Dancing and danced tango with being known to be the meanest of all and the next day, ends up not remembering nothing**_). The problem is that, early in the morning, the person named Yuuri Katsuki is being searched throughout the kingdom by the Evil Witch. Yuuri, when he wakes up in the morning with his family screaming at his bedroom door.

"Yuuri, you need to run and hide. The Witch wants your head!" Hiroko exclaims in tears.

"What?" Yuuri asks, with a lot of headache.

"What the hell did you do yesterday, stupid brother?!" Mari asks, pushing a backpack and a long black cloak into his arms.

"But I didn't do anything!" Yuuri exclaims, being pushed out of the house.

And that's how the escape of the princess ... _oops_, of the simple citizen of that kingdom began.

**~ x ~**

**[That night, right after the party.]**

"Oh my god, that boy left me very charmed. And he's so handsome, the perfect personification of the god Eros. Hey, mirror, mirror on the wall. Has blood ever stopped dropping from my nose?"

"Don't worry, My Master. You're still look mean even though all this blood runs down your nose." Georgi says, perfuming herself all over. "Like a vampire, except the blood is yours and it's coming out of your nostrils."

"This is terrible, Georgi!" The Witch Victor exclaims, throwing himself on a couch and beginning to mourn the fact that he didn't even find out his Eros's name.

"Yuuri Katsuki." The mirror says, combing her black hair. "That's his name."

"Yuuri Katsuki." The witch repeats, brightening suddenly. "I want posters all over the kingdom saying I look for him right away!"

"I don't think that's a good idea, My Master." The mirror says, straightening his clothes. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date to go."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

**~ x ~**

"Oh, he woke up!" Yuuri listens as she awakens from her sleep.

To his surprise, he finds himself surrounded by 7 very peculiar dwarves.

"Good Morning." He says, bowing to them.

He realizes he is in a forest and must have passed out because he did not sleep well tonight.

"Hmm, you're clearly not from here." One of the dwarfs says, holding up a cell phone and taking a picture of him. "On dwarf Facebook, there's no one like you."

"Facebook?" Yuuri asks, not understanding anything he was talking about.

"Tsk. Humans without creativity." The dwarf says, and Yuuri notices that he has darker skin than the others.

"My name is Yuuri." He introduces himself, feeling uncomfortable being watched by the dwarves.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!" Another dwarf with long blond hair and green eyes stands in front of him and stretches her small hands to his face."No fucking way that your name is the same as mine. I demand you change immediately!"

_Eh?_ C_hange it?_

"Don't be stingy, Yuri-chan. He's taller than you, so you're the one who should change his name." Another dwarf says, with a wide smile on his face. "I vote for Yuri-chan."

"JJ, now I'm going to end your life." Yuri-chan (?) says, gritting his teeth and trying to jump on another dwarf named JJ, but is stopped by another dwarf, who just nods at Yuuri.

"Only you call him that, JJ, so we'll have to pick another name." The black-skinned dwarf still fiddles with his cell phone, ignoring the others present."How about Yurio? Chris?"

A curly-haired dwarf exhaling weird pheromones approaches Yuuri, looking him up and down.

"He's cute, so I agree our grouchy kitten is called Yurio." He says, giving a wink to Yuuri, who just looks at him confused. "Kenjirou?"

"I like Yurio!" Another dwarf, blond-haired with a red fringe, exclaims. "Yuuri-sama should never be someone subjected to a name change!"

"Yuuri ... sama?" Yuuri asks, looking at the dwarf with surprise.

Kenjirou, seeing that the present fruit of his adoration is looking at him, lets out a strange scream, gets a super flushed face and hides behind another dwarf.

"Seung-Gil?" He asks, looking at the dwarf who has just become his shield.

"Whatever. I don't care." He says, crossing his arms and closing his eyes.

"Waaah, Seung-Gil's indifference strikes again." The dark-skinned dwarf says, letting out a breath. "Okay, we have four votes for Yurio, so it's decided. Yuri will now be called Yurio."

"Why is it that only I have to change my name and this pig still has his own?" Yurio says, making Yuuri depressed about being called a pig.

"I can be called Katsuki. So it doesn't hurt anyone." He says, wrapping himself around the cover.

"Yurio." They listen and the long-haired dwarf looks at the dwarf still holding him by his wide-eyed shirt. "Apologize."

"Beka, you too?" Yurio asks, quite surprised. "Tch. It's all that pig's fault and now I'm obliged to apologize."

"Stop doing drama, Yurio!" The dark-skinned dwarf comments with a sigh. "By the way, my name is Phichit."

"Nice to meet you." Yuuri says and ends up turning red when his belly growls loudly, something that surprises the dwarves. "Oh, I'm hungry. Where's my backpack ..."

"If you're talking about this here, we rummaged through and ate all the food and burned the rest of the stuff." The dwarf named JJ says proudly, placing the rest of the burned backpack on the floor near Yuuri.

"Eh?" The boy says, widening his eyes. "My clothes? My books? My food?! Why did you do that?"

"I knew we shouldn't have messed with it." Seung-Gil says, letting out a long breath.

"We shouldn't?" JJ asks, surprised.

"Oh no! Now he will die because of us!" Minami says, crying while still using Seung-Gil as a shield.

"I think I'll have to get some fruits." Yuuri says, getting up with difficult and starting to walk through the woods randomly.

The dwarves look at each other, feeling guilty that they left the boy with nothing to eat.

"Guys, why don't we have a party to welcome him?" Phichit suggests, cheering up.

"Good idea, Peach!" Chris exclaims, cheering up too. "Okay. Otabek and JJ are in charge of the hunt. Minami, of the wood to make the fire. Seung-Gil and Yurio, of preparing the rest of the food in the kitchen and Pichit will collect fruit and can ask Yuuri for help."

"What about you, Chris?" JJ asks, receiving a series of groans from the other five.

"Of course I'll polish my pole, after all it wouldn't be a party without this glorious one dancing naked here for our guest." Chris responds, posing.

"You had to ask." Yurio comments, kicking JJ's ass. "Now I need to get soap in my ears to have to forget what I just heard."

JJ looks at him, confused. Shrugging, he joins Otabek to go hunting.

**...**

That night the dwarf party was amazing. Not only did Yuuri eat, he danced with the other dwarves and was surprised to see Chris trying to pole, but Yurio decided to stop him and run with the pole in hand. Chris then decided to present Yuuri with a dress (_**Just**_ _**like**_ _**snow white**_,_**for reference**_), to his surprise.

"Why a dress?"

"Because you would look super cu-ooof." Chris starts to answer, but Phichit interrupts him with an elbow in the rib.

"Like you told me you're hiding from someone, I thought you better disguise yourself as a woman." He answers seriously.

"Oh." Yuuri just says, looking at him excited. "OK."

The problem was that Phichit had hidden his phone and placed it to broadcast the party live on his YouTube channel.

**[Video]**

Yuuri and the 7 dwarfs

_8,758 _Views ( _**Don't ask me how.**_)

**~ x ~**

In the evil castle, Witch Victor cries all afternoon on his couch because his soulmate hasn't yet appeared.

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? !" He asks bleakly.

Interestingly, he is not the only one crying there.

"Anyaaaaa!" The Mirror says, leaning against the frame with his face all smeared with makeup and tears.

"Yuuuuuuuri !" Victor exclaims, completely desolate.

**[ x2] [Play]**

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!"

"Yuuuuuuuuuuuuri !"

"Anyaaaaaaaaaaaa !"

( _**Oops. Not yet. They're still crying. I'm sorry.**_)

**[ x4] [Play]**

"Mirror, mirror on the wall. Tell me, do you know the whereabouts of my soulmate?" The Witch asks, looking out at the starry night from the window closest to the couch.

The Mirror, who has stopped crying and for a while now watches a video on his cell phone, smiling and completely ignoring his master.

"Mirror, answer my question!" Witch Victor exclaims, startling the mirror, which accidentally ends up dropping the phone on the castle floor.

As the Witch approaches his cell phone, he watches the video where 7 dwarfs and the human are dancing. He frowns, realizing the human resembles someone he has seen before, and widens his eyes as he sees the human dancing on his back.

"I know that ass!" He exclaims, putting a hand to his mouth. "He is my Yuuri! Oh my god, I've found him!"

"By his ass?" Georgi, the mirror asks, surprised.

"By his ass." The witch nods, moving away from the mirror and heading to his cauldron, where he begins to brew a love potion that he intends to make Yuuri take.

"MY PHONE!" The mirror exclaims, now being ignored by its own master, who continues to watch the video with bright eyes.

**~ x ~**

The next day, the dwarves wake up to find their home clean and a tasty smell of food in the air.

"What the hell?!" Yurio exclaims, startled by what he sees.

"Good Morning." Yuuri says, placing the rest of the dishes on the table with toast, eggs, fried bacon, cheese, ham, coffee and tea. "I hope that's enough to thank you for what you did for me yesterday."

The dwarves realize that he is wearing the dress, and getting embarrassed about it.

"Let's eat." Otabek says, sitting at the table.

Soon the 7 dwarfs sit at the table to eat. Yuuri returns to the kitchen and eats there, feeling like a stranger in that little house. And then they end up listening to someone knock on the door.

**~ x ~**

With the potion ready, he decides to use it to charm apples and not to cause trouble, he casts a spell on himself, disguising himself as his former magic tutor, Yakov.

Soon he is at the door of the 7 dwarf house, where he knocks twice and is anxiously waiting for Yuuri to open the door. Unfortunately it's not him, but one of the dwarves ( _**Seung-Gil**_), who looks at him coldly.

"Is Yuuri here?"

The dwarf responds by closing the door in the old man's face, which widens his eyes.

He knocks on the door again, and regrets seeing another dwarf ( _**Otabek**_)

"Is Yuuri here?" The old man asks again.

"No." Otabek responds, closing the door in his face.

Not giving up, he knocks again.

"Don't know!" ( _**Phichit**_)

"Why aren't you asking for me ~?" ( _**Chris**_)

"I don't know about anything about pigs." ( _**Yurio**_)

"I don't know about Yuuri-sama at all." ( _**Minami - trying to imitate Yurio**_)

"Yuuri, there's an old man looking for you!" ( _**JJ, who catches up after the other 6**_)

Soon the old man is excited to see Yuuri appear shyly, wearing a dress, slender black hair sliced back and a pair of blue-rimmed glasses.

"Can I help you?"

"Would you like an apple?" The old man asks, taking out a fruit with the love potion and extending it to him.

"No thank you." Yuuri says, stepping back.

"Why not? They look delicious." The old man insists, not liking to see how much this makes Yuuri nervous.

"I don't want to die." Yuuri says, making him stop.

"What?" The old man asks, wide-eyed.

"Well, you were sent by the Witch to kill me, aren't you? The witch wants my life, so he has spread my name posters all over the kingdom." Yuuri comments, shaking all over. "Please, I don't remember what happened at the party."

"Well, you danced a lot with the guests, did pole dancing almost naked and danced tango with me." The old man says, leaving Yuuri horrified.

From the window, Chris whistles, Minami is flushed, Yurio has already rushed to clean her ears, Otabek and Seung-Gil are the same way, JJ is all smashed to the floor and Phichit, as always, is filming everything.

"Oh my god, I changed my mind." Yuuri says, panicking, approaching the old man. "Please give me one of those apples! I need to die."

"Noooo!" The old man says, throwing the basket up. "These apples have a love potion."

Yuuri and the dwarves look at the shocked old man.

"Sorry, but you're too old for me." Yuuri says, looking at him coldly. "Besides, I'm already in love with someone, but I know for sure that the Witch would never like someone like me."

"What?!" The dwarves and the old man ask at the same time.

Yuuri, flushed, not knowing how to act at that moment.

"So it was me all the time?" The Witch asks, surging in the old man's place, to the shock of the dwarves and Yuuri. "I was looking for you because I fell in love with you too, Yuuri Katsuki. I would never imagine that the things I did to have you in my arms were the reasons why you had to walk away from me."

"Did you… fall in love with me?" Yuuri asks, looking at him shyly.

"Yes, Yuuri. And I would love to spend the rest of my life with you." Victor says, reaching for him.

"OK." Yuuri says, extending hers and holding his.

"Guys, our Yuuri is getting married !" Phichit exclaims, clapping along with Chris, Seung-Gil, Otabek and Minami.

**~ x ~**

_And as he said, the Witch who is not really Malevolent but just stupid and extra as fuck and the ice skating teacher get married and live happily ever after._

**~ End ~**


End file.
